A Touch Of Lube (All Calls Are Monitored Book 2) Read online

  In her soft, melodic voice, as always, Flossy cooed her way into the minds of the members. “I’m sorry, Mr. Efron, there was a usage label, and we of course, always advise our members to read any product they’re going to use. I would hate for this to ruin your afternoon, or evening, I’m not sure what time it is there.”

  Her voice was met with the crying tears of pain.

  “Shhh. I can make everything all better for you.”

  “You can?” his coarse voice came through.

  Flossy nodded at herself as she caught her reflection in the side of her desk mirror. “It will all be okay. Picture this, a cool waterfall splashing gently on a pile of stones, washing away all your pain. Now, image me, a five-foot seven brunette with double Ds, and DSLs for days, image I’m there, and I have nice cold hands.”

  “Oh? You do?” he asked between sobs.

  “Yes. I can rub ice cubes on your nipples and eat ice cream from those chiselled abs.”

  He sobbed once again. “You’ll do that for me?”

  “Only the best.”

  “I guess I did use too much, but sometimes, you just want to get wet n wild.”

  Flossy continue to nod her head. “Natural lubrication is something I excel at.”

  “You’ve been amazing, as always, when I’m in London, I’ll give you a shout.”

  “Okay. Is there anything else I can help with?”

  “Just stay on the line for a minute while I—I—uhm—okay—okay—I’m done.”

  Flossy groaned softly through her nose. “It’s a pleasure.”

  In Deandra’s office, Alexa laid on her floor, spread out as if she was making snow angels in her carpet. She stared up at the ceiling. Her room was still in subdued darkness with only limited light from the halogen bulbs and electronic candles, scattered around the room.

  She grumbled and groaned to herself. “I want to cut his balls off.”

  “Greater women have tried.”

  “Like who?”

  Deandra took a seat on the chair near to why Alexa laid. “Veronica. Before Jeff, there was Frank, you know this already, but she was pissed. She actually attacked him.”

  Alexa’s laughed turned to tears quickly. “It’s the dick.”

  “It’s always the dick.”

  “I just can’t—can’t—I—”

  “I know. We’ve all been there.”

  Without knocking, Candy barged into Deandra’s office, huffing and throwing her weight around like a chubby toddler who’s been denied a tenth hotdog at a birthday party because there’s other kids around and they must share.

  She slammed her fat ass into the chair beside Deandra. “You have booze?”

  Alexa lifted her head to see the full upside of Candy’s body, the side the light doesn’t hit, nor does it want to.

  Deandra gulped the contents of her glass. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m sober.”

  “Cut the act.”

  Alexa raised a hand before dropping it and her head to the floor. “She—she—”

  Deandra stood and moved around her office to a second concealed miniature fridge. This time as a vase, a large square-shaped vase. “She’s out for the count.”

  Candy watched. “So that’s where—”

  “Tell anyone and you’re dead.” Deandra hauled bottles into her arms, collecting them inside the fabric of her dress. “For every three, you have one. This is strong, and I’ll need it to drown out whatever you’re talking about.”

  “I feel out of luck, I try everything, but I still can’t get Lara to see me as fling material.”

  Deandra shuddered and groaned. “Rule number one, mentioning Lara will be grounds for instant dismissal.”

  “Got it. But—that woman.”

  She took her seat and handed a bottle to Candy. “Oh, is she a woman? I heard she had a penis until a couple years ago.”

  Candy paused, unscrewing the cap of her bottle. “Seriously?”

  “God no, you’re so gullible.”

  She pressed the neck of the bottle to her lips and sucked the contents dry. “And?”

  “If I told you something, you’d believe it. Wouldn’t you?”

  “No.”

  “She once went to town on a fifteen-inch dildo at a corporate meeting in the states. I’ll never forget.”

  Candy placed her hands to her throat. “Really?”

  “No.”

  Taking another bottle, Candy drank the contents. It hit her tongue and the hot aftertaste burned. She reached out for another bottle and grabbed Deandra’s leg. She didn’t stop, she pushed her hand further until a slap hit her face.

  “I don’t chow down like that.” Deandra stood, letting the stray bottle of vodka fall on the cushioned chair. “I’m strictly dickly.”

  SEVEN

  Alexa woke thirty minutes later to see Candy passed out in the chair and Deandra sat at her desk, throwing discarded bottle caps at Candy’s chest, watching them clink and bounce away from her corset.

  Deandra threw a bottle cap at the back of Alexa’s head. “Finally.”

  “What? How long have I been sleeping?”

  “We’re all still here, so it’s not that long.”

  A knock at the door pulled Alexa to her feet. Max stood there, relief washed over his face at the sign of Alexa’s scrunched up face and hair sticking up.

  “We need you out here,” Max said, and grabbed her arm.

  Alexa pulled away. “One minute.” She closed the door.

  Deandra cooed. “But you’d rather stay here with me, wouldn’t you sweetie?”

  Alexa fixed her hair and adjusted her headband, it had fallen to the back of her head while she’d been lying on the floor. “I need to get back out there.” She wobbled on her feet. “I shouldn’t have had that drink.”

  Deandra waved a hand. “Nonsense. Drink as much as you like. Some of the best people perform well under the influence.”

  “Like who?”

  She pointed to herself. “The one and only.”

  Ollie peered over his desk to Thea and Max, both picking up email after email, refusing to take another call and be shouted at by Americans for not being an American, because all they wanted was to speak with someone from their own country, which they understood, neither, Max nor Thea knew anything about American law, which is the primary topic. Ollie knew a little, but not enough to be considered an expert, or even have an upper hand.

  “Think we can leave whenever we want?” Ollie grumbled.

  Max shook his head, scowling at his screen. “I’m just copying and pasting the same email. I can’t leave, but you could.”

  Rosie made her round to them, taking their cups and filling them with coffee. “Sugar? Milk?”

  Alexa watched from the doorway, waiting for her to leave before making her move across the call centre floor back to her desk. Even though she wanted coffee, she wasn’t going to stoop as low as allowing Rosie to make her one.

  Finally, after moments of chitchat, Rosie left to Veronica’s office, wheeling her trolley with her. Alexa threw herself down into her chair and grabbed Thea’s company coffee cup, drinking the entire contents of the lukewarm coffee.

  Grabbing a tissue from the box on her desk, she blotted her lips. “I needed that.”

  “Where’ve you been?” Thea asked.

  Before answering, a clatter of knocks on glass came from the window of Lara’s office. “Listen up, Mr. Neal, the CEO and founder of Fling, has sent us all a video. Watch it. I know you’re all busy.” She looked around the room at agents speaking to each other, standing at their desks, speaking over partitions, and Quin, loitering at the door to the hallway of the bathrooms and small kitchen.

  Dear All,

  Here’s a short video. I appreciate all the help.

  You rock. Keep at it.

  [dont-fuck-it-up.mp4]

  Clark Neal

  CEO & Found of Fling

  Sent from iPhone

  In the video, the 6-foot tanned to perfection man is laid on a sun lounger with reflective blue sunglasses covering his eyes. Using one hand to record the video on his phone, his other hand is at his temples, massaging his forehead.

  “I’m gonna be real with you. This is an unnecessary headache. I’m giving you everything I have. Get this sorted out, and don’t fuck it up.”

  In the reflection of his glasses, a woman, climbing up from his groin, wiping her lips made an appearance. “Is that everything?”

  He looked down at her. “You didn’t do that thing to my balls I like.” Down she went again with his free hand on the top of her head, pushing her slightly. He cleared his throat and looked back up to the camera. “Can you get rid of those negative posts. I don’t know what they’re saying, but my Google Alerts are driving me crazy!” He ended his video with a sigh, slowly edging to a groan. It played for a moment longer as he dropped his phone to his side. “Baby, oh, baby. Just one finger this time.” He yelped. “Ahh, ahh. Okay, two.”

  The video ended. As the agents looked around at one another, concluding Mr. Neal was crazy, and they didn’t realise he was sunbathing and getting head, instead of some geeky tech guy working in an office out of Silicon Valley.

  Rosie wheeled Veronica to her office door and opened it.

  Veronica garnered attention with three hand claps. “Okay. You heard him. We need to get this sorted.” She slapped Rosie’s hand. “Push me.”

  “Where?”

  “Around.”

  Rosie pushed Veronica around the call centre floor, doing her sweep of agents, making notes of what they were doing, and who was being productive. It was something she’d usually do during the day, when she had functioning legs.

  Missy followed them both around. “Have you given any thought to supervisor bonu
ses?”

  Veronica pulled to a stop, letting her leg hit the floor. “Supervisor bonuses?”

  Missy nodded. “I have great numbers. My team are performing well. I’m hitting targets and I came in on short notice to help out.”

  Veronica snapped her fingers in Missy’s face. She pushed herself slightly from the arm rests of the office chair. “You don’t have a say when you do or do not come in. As a supervisor, you’re contracted to the hours we require, without any compensation, but maybe we’ll give you a bonus, but if you think you’re doing a harder job than these agents, please, stop me.”

  On calls and reading emails, they all paid a little attention to Veronica as she beat Missy down with a verbal thrashing.

  “I didn’t mean it like that, Vee.”

  Veronica tutted, resting back in her chair again. “I’ll be rewarding the agents well, I think an extra two-hundred in their pay packet sounds about right. Maybe more, we’ll see how much damage control we can do.”

  Ollie fist pumped the air beneath his desk.

  Max tapped Alexa on her shoulder.

  She turned to him and huffed. “No, that doesn’t include us.”

  He sighed and grumbling, returning to his computer. “Well, we got pizza.”

  “We always get pizza.”

  The ominous black shadow of Frank, hovered behind Alexa for a moment before she took notice of him. She’d been so used to it in the past, but now it gave her nothing but goose bumps and chills when he stood close.

  Making eye contact with him through the black space of the computer screen. She rolled her eyes. “What?”

  “Can I speak with you?”

  “Here?”

  He pressed his hand against the back of her shoulder. “My office.”

  Frank’s office was on the opposite side of the call centre floor. Across the room from Deandra, Veronica, and Lara, the three women in her life who she trusted to have her back more than him.

  She shrugged his hand away with a hand. “One minute.” She stood and approached Flossy, wrapping up a call. Dipping her head to Flossy’s ear as she freed it from the headset. “I’m going into Frank’s office, if I’m not out in five minutes, tell someone.”

  Flossy nodded, pulling Alexa’s face into view to make eye contact. “Okay,” she said, to both Alexa and the member on the line.

  It was the first time Alexa stepped inside Frank’s office after cutting ties to her emotions with him, although she wasn’t nothing but to smash his computer and desk up. He turned the light on, illuminating the room, and everything she wanted to smash.

  “What do you want?” Alexa asked, pushing her way through to sit in his office chair at the head of his desk.

  “We’re both adults,” he said, sitting on the edge of the desk. “We were never in a relationship.”

  Alexa pushed his mouse, illuminating his computer screen and the porn sites he was browsing. “Oh whoa. You think that’s why I’m bothered?”

  “Well? Isn’t it?”

  She flicked her hair back. “No. That’s not. Far from it. Fuck who you want, but don’t tell me we can’t LTF because you’re going to the states, and that you’re looking to climb the corporate ladder.”

  He stood and brushed a hand down his shirt to straighten out the kinks. “I am going, but I had to come in because of everything that’s happened.”

  “Tell me some more bullshit, please.”

  He scoffed. “Come on, I’ve never lied to you.”

  “So, why are you with Rosie now?”

  “We’re just hooking up.”

  Alexa bit her lips together. She pulled her phone from her pocket. “I have a date with a 6-foot Adonis at 6 A.M. so, I’m really not bothered.”

  Frank shrugged, flashing his eyes at Alexa, the irresistible charm that won her over in the first place, and the opportunity for a pay rise. Living in London was expensive, not when she could move to a foreign country and live based purely on the fact she could speak English. “You sound bothered.”

  “Because you lied.”

  He slammed his hands on the table. “No, I didn’t.”

  Alexa stood and slammed two fists down. “You did. Rosie can’t help you, she’s a try-hard wannabe.”

  “She does a lot of stuff actually.”

  Alexa knocked his company mug across the room with the back of her hand. “I bet she loves anal.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe she does.”

  “That’s why, isn’t it?”

  “I told you, I’m going away for a few weeks. I can’t have any attachments.” He inhaled deeply and rolled the sleeves of his shirt. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  Wobbling on her feet and swinging her arms around, Alexa sat again. “I’m fine.”

  “Listen, I’m sorry.”

  She pulled her headband from her hair. “No, you’re not. I’m sorry you got bored of me. But I can make it very interesting.” She stood and pushed the headband through her hair.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To work?”

  “You’re drunk.”

  “And you’re a dick.”

  Alexa marched out of his office, with him watching at his office door. She stomped her way to Ollie and sat on his lap.

  “Kiss me,” she said breathlessly, taking one glance at Frank behind her.

  “Uh.” He shook his head and glanced at Thea busy on a call.

  Alexa pressed her face against his, slipping her tongue inside his mouth. She groaned deeply, pulling focus from other agents on the floor. She pulled away once the sound of Frank’s door slammed shut.

  He wiped at the wet around his mouth. “Alexa?”

  “I know, you’ve been wanting this for a while.” She stood from his knees and patted herself down.

  Across the partition, Thea caught the end of it as Ollie stared at Alexa’s arse shake as she walked off to Deandra’s office.

  “What’s that?” Thea asked.

  Ollie shook himself from his daze. “Na—na—nothing.”

  She grinned. “I’m not bothered. We’re all about sex here.”

  He nodded. “Right.”

  “Plus, no relationships, only—”

  “Only LTFs.”

  Alexa pushed open Deandra’s office door to see Candy still sleeping with a collection of bottle caps collected in her bosom, and in the short amount of time, Deandra had assembled a hammock across her ceiling.

  She turned the office light on.

  “Fuck off,” Deandra’s croaky voice crackled through the office. “Turn that off.”

  Dressed in all black, Alexa noticed Juan, Deandra’s assistant, asleep on the floor. She flicked the light off again.

  EIGHT

  Veronica and Jeffrey were both sleeping in her office. The lights off completely. Only natural light from the rising sun came through the windows and the dull office lamps, keeping the keyboards and desk space in light were visible.

  Alexa walked around the call centre floor aimlessly, avoiding any contact with Rosie as she offered coffee to sleepy employees. In the control centre, on the slight incline, Missy made a makeshift bed for herself on the floor, resting on a back cushion.

  She took a seat up at Missy’s computer to see an unread email.

  To: Managers/Supervisors; recipients undisclosed.

  From: System Administrator

  Pop-ups on the app are now in place. Advising members of the instructions written on the bottle. Members who purchased the Sensalube are being offered a discount on their membership.

  Please inform employees.

  Alexa glanced to Missy on the floor, an eye mask covering her face. “I’ll do the honours.” She clicked a few buttons and forwarded the email to all call centre agents.

  Logan approached the half-wall of the control centre. “What do we do about tweets?”

  Alexa flicked her hair back. “Offer assistance, duh.”

  Lara approached her moments later. “Everyone else is either sleeping, or not worth talking to.” She smiled. “How’re you feeling?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Fine? Didn’t seem fine earlier.”

  “Now I’m fine.”

  Lara scoffed, moving around the wall with her fingers dancing across the top. “You’re tough, Alexa.” She took a seat. “But, don’t try and bring someone else down because you’re not having a good day.”